My day of legit hell

Well, maybe not legit, but it was "awful"!

So, W/we decided to torture little ol' me. With heat. i love heat, i absorb a ton and then don't get cold for a good long while, and so Mommy said W/we were going to see how well i could really hack it. We have, like, an ancient space heater, and i was put in my cage, and Mommy just put it in front of me and turned it on. High. My cage is covered in a comforter, so i'm more "stored away" and because it's still pretty cold to be completely naked without cover.

She put the heater under the blanket with me. And it got really...really...really hot. The entire cage was burning hot, so i couldn't touch the bars, and the air was burning my lungs. i had water, so don't think we did this without some safety measures. At first, i was going to work on the computer while She watched TV, (which was on the tv, but through the computer. HDMI cables are awesome), but it quickly got too hot in there for the computer to operate, so Mommy took it away. Then, i had nothing but the orange glow that was causing all my discomfort, two dildos, and me. And so i did as i am required, and stuff the dildo in myself and play. i didn't really want to cum, though. For a lot of reasons. One, i felt pretty gross. i was dripping sweat, and i could smell it all over. Ew. But there's also...after i cum, what's the fun in the torture? When you're super turned on, the torture is sexy because you are being tortured, but once you aren't turned on...it's just...pain...

But, i did eventually cum and the dream of torment turned into a torment of extreme heat and suffering. But, i found that it was still sexy. It might have even been a little more so, because now, it was just straight up suffering. And i really felt like Mommy was enjoying it, despite the silence. The heat needed to disipate from the computer before She could even turn it on!

And everything after that became kinda a blurry hazy feeling. i feel like i was pretty delirious while also being reasonably lucid. Like...i was hunched over, cowering as far away from that evil orange light as i possibly could, while sweat dripped off every inch of my flesh, and my mind just felt like it wouldn't turn on quite completely, but i was aware of what was happening and why. i just...let myself go, and while the circumstances were painful, at least mentally, i loved it. i got to feel so small and insignificant and feel like i was suffering like this just because it made Her smile absently while She chilled out. But, and the rest of this hasn't happened yet, but it's about to, and i'm nervous and excited!

We are going to do a more intense version of me just being left to suffer idly while She relaxes...And i won't really get access to a computer soon, so i'll describe how it felt tomorrow. Maybe. If i feel like it...We took the blanket off the cage and tested the violet wand. For those of you who don't know, a violet wand is an electro-play toy. Anyway, Mommy is going to lock a gag on my head, and cuff my hands to the bars of the cage, and lock it closed anyway, and turn on the electricity, so i can't touch the bars without hurting myself, while She enjoys a candle lit movie. The fact that the candles will be laying across the bars, dripping constantly on me. It'll be super unpredictable, and there will be no escape from any of it. Mommy might even put a wooden dowel in so my legs are kept high up and secured.

After the movie, Mommy is planning on enjoying a nice, slow, relaxing night by locking me into the cage, the computer inside so i can see, and the HDMI copying the feed so we see the same thing, and She is going to enjoy Massachusetts new laws to smoke up, blowing everything into a hose that delivers it under my blanket. There isn't much airflow, so i'll just be rebreathing it constantly while we chill. i might get out once more, to get ready for bed, but then i'll be locked in for the night, cut off from everything. Mommy said She might smoke a bit more, and keep blowing it into the cage, (i think She will), and i'll just have to wait for Her to let me out tomorrow.

i'm enjoying this so very much and i love that i found someone who completes me so much. And if You are enjoying hearing about them, hit up my patreon and become a patron so it can get more intense and deeper, and we can start making stuff! But, we should have pictures available after tonight, though i think they'll be a patron only reward, but i'm not sure, so You'll have to hope or join to make sure You get to see it!

Cages, fucks, and slutty slavery...oh my!

So, i lost the right to clothing a while ago. It was mostly mutual, though i admit, in the tail end of winter, it's cold. And when Mommy said it was time for me to start sleeping on the floor, i was super excited by the prospect, and when i came home from work, Mommy had set up a nice bed. She had put a couple of pillows down and a comforter on top for me to sleep on, and i loved it. i was so happy and Mommy had me stay on it until bed time. She had me come on Her bed for a few minutes, and snuggle, and then i went back on the floor. i was super excited for a long while...and then i was cold and sore and uncomfortable all night. i didn't sleep well, but it was kinda expected. And i asked Mommy what she thought about us pulling our old cage down.

We haven't used it in a while because it's a little too small. It's not, like, ludicrously small, but it's not quite the right size. We weren't sure if it would work, but we decided to try. Beyond being sexy as hell, the cage allows Mommy to control when i am anything more than in storage, and allows a little heat for me. As i said, it's cold. And i only have a small blanket to keep warm. It's pretty restrictive, and we've worried a bit about cramping, but i started spending my nights in the cage.

i got a bad cramp the first night, and i was thankful Mommy didn't lock the door. i also had my cummy in the cage. i thought i was being quiet, but Mommy laughed really hard when i told her that. She knew damn well what i was doing.

The next night, (last night), she said she just rolled over and passed out. i'm in it right now, with Mommy just chilling out with Joker on the bed.

i'm excited to see where it goes from here.

Weird couple days..wanna hear about it?

I live with family. i can't afford to live on my own, despite two incomes. i am very ambitious, but i don't know how to get from point A to point B. i know this about myself, but i'm really bad with it. It's not me bitching about it, i need You to know it as it pertains to the story i'm about to paint. i'm also ignoring honorifics like W/we, because it's a bit harder to read.

Yesterday, after work, Miss decided we were doing a scene. We had actually discussed it a bit, and we were going to do it to drive me wild. She was going to hogtie, hood, and abuse me. And we did get the hood on, and the hood, but Miss didn't want to go easy on me at all, and she started with some impact play on my ass. i think she was using the cane for a bit, but it was a little hazy, the beginning especially. i'm not really sure how i ended up laying on my belly and cuffed to the bed, but i remember Miss demanding i get my ass up and my face down, by doing it herself.

So, ok, there i was, my ass high in the air, my face smooshed into the bed, and Miss caning my ass softly and teasingly. She grabbed the bottle and dripped some lube down between my cheeks. it was cold, and it made me jump just a bit. i felt her shove a finger in my cunt and ram it in a few times before grabbing a dildo and shoving it deep into me. i definitely jumped, and then she grabbed the cane again and started whacking harder, making sure to hit the end of the dildo a few times. 

At some point, she grabbed the hitachi wand and left it buzzing under me, caning me to show me i didn't get it. She caned and paddled me a while, actually, the mixed feelings of pain and pleasure growing, and my mind melting in the hood. 

i was absolutely desperate at that point. i would have done anything to cum, i think. And Miss shoved me down, positioning me so the hitachi was directly on my clit, and my mind lit on fire. i couldn't move, because i needed that stimulation. i couldn't breathe because the slightest motion might derail it. And still She paddled me. And i felt my orgasm coming, a little closer with every smack!

And finally, i did cum. But i couldn't move. Couldn't scream. Couldn't do anything at all. And Miss didn't notice, or didn't care. i still don't know which. And she kept paddling. The vibrator stayed on my clit. There was no fanfare. There was just a bodily function. 

Then, we were interupted by my grandmother needing my help. 

Today, Mommy and i started working on some ideas for a really awesome sex toy. Not really even a dildo, it's...completely new. We'll be getting started on building it very soon, and then it'll become a thing we make. 

In hopes that Mommy sees this...

This is only a quick post. i'll write a lot more later on. i'm only writing this in the hopes that Mommy sees it and decides i've been good enough to have earned it.

i really want to be hogtied for a long time again tonight. With the hood on, and the subliminal recording playing in my ears. i really want to be teased to extreme degrees, with no real rest or break, just way too much stimulation constantly until i'm a mess. i want Mommy to just enjoy me. i loved being a decoration, but i'm so so desperate to feel like a fucktoy...and i hope Mommy just gets everything started, without telling me She read this.

Fucktoy Ahoy!

Now, i don't know if You know this, but i'm a toy. The brain works perfectly, just no one is paying much attention to what's happening in there, that kind of thing. Well, i got to really feel like it for a while earlier. It also made me think there might be a pretty awesome kinky version of "Truth or Dare" in there...you know, for game nights with the swingers.

But, as i lay there, feeling my own aroual betraying me time and again, with no stimulation whatsoever, in a hogtie, hooded, i couldn't help but really enjoy the sensations.

i know Mommy is planning stuff where i'm left at home like that with guests around, but i'm kinda scared about what that many hands could do to my poor, fragile, delicate little fucktoy mind. Overstimulation, be it pain or pleasure, could probably manage to break me faster than a lack thereof. i was tied for a good 45 minutes to an hour, (about to try a few hours of it now), but i didn't really process time.

i was also thinking of products and services we could offer. We have a lot of plans, but nothing i feel like i can do right now. Tomorrow, i'm going to try to make an alien cock out of clay. Really something that i would love to feel using me. And i'm going to make a nice, big, fat, painful dildo. And i am going to post pictures of them. i'll post a couple here, but my patrons will get to see them in use. They'll get to see me masturbate with a huge alien dildo, and maybe even get video.

i think that's one of the things i'm really and truly loving about my life right now. i can be the nasty, disgusting, perverted slut, and my Mommy just eggs me on to be even more so. i think She likes the idea of me being the biggest slut i can possibly be. She wants us to be the biggest kink icons we can be. i do, too, but i'm just enjoying being used, and fucked, and teased, and abused, and humping everything and fucking myself with whatever and my life being just so...sexual in such a way that i'm only calm during the periods where we need to be calm. And beyond that, i'm already pretty uncontrollable, and it's only those few acts that i feel Mommy wouldn't want me to do, (even though She already told me i could and i'm just being a stupid cunt), that i don't do more often.

i can't wait to experience a few hours in silence and in bondage, just there as a decoration and a toy. It's going to be awesome.

Yesterday was freaking weird, tonight was fucking awesome!

Ok, so i'm still new to real slavery. So far, it's been kind of a weird mix of doing whatever the hell we wanted mixed in with whatever toys we could manage to get our hands on. It wasn't an entirely effective mix, i'm sure that those of you who have been slaves or Owners for a while are shaking their head at me right now, or have at least once.

So, yesterday was it's own trip. i got ready for work with nipple clamps and clothespins on, and got my first real proper punishment. i had a cummie by accident while adding to my tumblr queue. Mommy understood, but that didn't get me out of anything.

So, i'm going to jump to the fun bits, starting from the punishment. Mommy said that since i was naughty, but told her about it, i wouldn't be punished too severely. i was placed in a corner, on my knees, my legs spread wide, facing the wall, with my hands behind my head for 15 minutes. i think we both just sorta assumed that that wouldn't be a big deal, it's more about being quiet anyway, but dear god...

For those of you who don't know, and don't have the itch to discover it themselves, you get super sore. Like, your body aches to move, to release the strain of the position. So, 15 minutes took forever, and i was ready to cry by the end of it. When Mommy finally said i could move, i collapsed. After something like a dozen attempts to get up, i finally made it to the bed.

Mommy and i talked about it for a bit. And it was awesome, yet horrible, and we decided we would be starting real training on positions. i sealed my own fate right at that moment.

After work today, (Mommy got a free day off with pay today), Mommy said i'm no longer allowed to walk in our bedroom, and put down my food and drink in a dog bowl, which i happily ate out of. There was actually something super awesome about it. i kept wagging my butt at her, and while i don't even know if she actually saw it, it made me happy.

It actually took me kind of a long time to eat, as i don't have a snout that the bow was designed to accomodate, but i managed. Actually, drinking out of a bowl was a lot easier than eating, once i kinda had an idea as to what to do. i'm sure eating like that will get easier.

Mommy let me have a big hug and we got to training.

The chart of positions we are using for training. Consider it the rough idea.

Mommy had me be in Tower, Bracelets, and Nadu for 5 minutes each. i was allowed to see what was on the tv and talk, but i was actually pretty focused on my positioning and letting myself get to know each ache and pain, trying to figure out what i could do to stretch those muscles more throughout the day.

i had so much fun working on my positions, though most of my body hurts right now. i had to stay pretty much completely still throughout, and the positions were pretty straining. 

Oh, and we went to get Mommy a new cane and a new paddle, and there's a possibility i might start working, and potentially teaching classes, at the Adam and Eve not too far from here. The manager seemed pretty impressed with me, and i have been taught how to GIVE all the pain, even if i'm not super at receiving it all. 

All in all, it was a good couple days. i feel super close to my Mommy right now, and she's sitting next to me as i type, and i bet she's looking forward to reading this all as well. i love You, Mommy!

Also, please share this. i'd love to have people reading about my training and the fun i have with Mommy. i'd love it if you'd share on any platform you use, or copy and paste the url to forums. Thank You!

Mental Transition Point

Did you know that slaves who are in training go through a bunch of mental transitions? This is where their minds either really suddenly have to process everything, or find acceptance with what's going on. The former is really hard on both the slave and Owner, as the slave feels suddenly trapped and scared, while she second is, apparently, much more pleasant.

So, to start, slept naked, but without the tail. my poor little butthole was too sore to keep something in it all night long, and Mommy said that i been good enough that i could take it out. But, i woke up considering nudity, nudism, and humiliation this morning, and i realized, i don't care who sees me naked. My body is nothing to be ashamed of, and my Mommy thinks it's sexy, and that's literally all that matters.

Plus, i'm a fucking toy. i should be naked. i should never really be dressed. Sure, my nudity might always have a dash of sexuality to it. i'll be dripping and needy and stuffs, but i'll still be me, still have my mind and personality, and can still hang out, but...be...y'know, nakie.

The other thing that has been on my mind a lot is Mommy seems to be getting into the idea of leaving in bondage in a semi-public setting. Just putting me in chastity so i can't be fucked, but can be spanked and molested and stuff. i dunno how i feel about it.

i mean, i'm a toy. i'll do whatever Mommy tells me to, up to and including letting everyone punish me, but i dunno...Mommy and i will need to talk about it before anything does actually happen, but i'm unsure about it.

So, i say, no more clothes for digit! Yay! Nakie digit!

Crazy day yesterday

So, the day before yesterday, my car got a flat tire, so all day yesterday was spent trying to fix it. Because no place that does tires is open on sunday. I was really stressing out, but I did eventually find a place, but it didn't get finished until 4 in the afternoon. There was no time for much! But, since we had such a hard day, we got to get D'Angelos subs, (we both got steak and cheese! :)), and we still got to go and get Mr. Stuffins. He's my new bear. i call him Mr. Stuffins, but his first name is really Dick.

Then, we smoked up and chilled out for like the whole rest of the night. Mommy teased the ever loving shit out of me though! I got edged like 3 times last night and like 15 times this morning, because She was relentless! She was having me play with Her and giggling when i was all like, "Mommy, please stop or i'll cummie!"

But, She did let me cum, but i think she didn't think the permission would do anything. i can't usually cum under pressure, but i was so fucking turned on, i was a dripping little mess and she was loving it.

Now, i'm having a smokie while i type. i have to get ready for work, and i really don't want to. i want to be making porn, working on toys, stories, and my game. i want to be pleasuring her, and in tight bondage. i want to be hers all the time, not just when we are free to actually act like it.

It sucks.

But, She did say that i would sleep hogtied and in my hood. i like that. i made a subliminal track to play all night long, which will probably make me just as turned on come tomorrow morning...when i have to go to work again. Ugh. Being a grown up is super hard.

i have to go take a shower and wash all the filthy slavey-ness off myself so i don't stink like a whore at work. bye bye!

Oh! You should support me on Patreon if you are enjoying all this. It'll let us get our company started up, which is going to make toys, stories, games, media, and more. We'll be a one stop fetish shop!

About my day and feelings; March 4th, 2017

I needed to write. I'm sorry that it's not a story, but it is very sexual and I think it's pretty hot.

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm an owned sex slave. I am very extreme, and into a lot of things most people would find disturbing, not even remotely sexual, never mind sexy, and find the inner workings of my brain meats terrifying. I don't care. I will never care, and I refuse to follow the status quo anymore, despite years of trying.

My Owner, Moon Goddess Eclipse, has just recently realized how much she enjoys this fact, and is discovering how intense her fetishes were, and how far they can be pushed as well. She has always had a thing for psychosis.

Anyway, today I had my first task. It was written out on facebook, but she added to it while i drove Her to work. It was my day off, but she was working in the morning. i was given a task to edge myself three times, at specific times, and take pictures for her to review later. In the car, she added naked, and gagged all day, but I somehow misunderstood exactly what i was meant to do. So, when i got home, i stripped and plugged myself with my tail, and got to work, edging myself the whole time.

It was already close to the first scheduled time, so it was only a few minutes before i decided to start, but I thought it would be sexier if i recorded it, so i lubed up my ass, (her favorite fuck hole), and my big double sided dildo, and I fucked myself. For like a good 20 mins. It felt so fucking good, and it was really hard to stop, but I did. And I was kinda proud of myself, actually.

I used that to make a gif, posting it on facebook, hoping she would see it. She didn't, because she didn't have her tablet or anything with which to see it, but I was still pretty pleased with myself, and other people did see it, which I think was kind of the point. I then went back to work, playing with myself the entire time. It was...the most equisite agony, because there came a point where the slightest touch to my clitty was too much to handle, but I still had to keep going. And I did. I would move to every part of my cunny, stimulating myself and drowning myself in all the hormones that cause arousal.

A while of work went by, and my mind was completely running amok with ideas and scenarios and ideas, all of which were hot to me, but getting scarier by the minute.

When it came time to fuck myself again, I needed it badly, and spent half an hour fucking my ass with my biggest dildo, moaning like a little whore. At that point, I just wanted some kind of an audience, especially if it was only Miss. But, all i got was the camera, taking pictures when i was at my most needy, my most vulnerable.

It was so hard to stop. I didn't want to. I wanted to cum so very very badly. I needed it, and my mind was swooning with the hormones, drowing in them, and I was feeling lower and lower, until I felt like a beast, some wild thing who understood nothing but fucking and cumming. My mind was only focused on sex, my body was burning with need, my ass just wanted to be fucked more, while my cunt was crying to be touched, used, filled...I couldn't, but I wanted to so very badly.

Then, after I picked up Miss, we were going to get my my own stuffie, (i am still a little, after all), but then my tire went flat, and the night had to end there. At 6pm. And it sucked. So today is about picking up after that whole mess, though I do think I still get to get a stuffie today. Yay!

I hope you enjoyed this! I'm going to try to write more often. Let me know what you think of my plight in the comments, and I'll write about the next big cool thing when it pops up. And don't forget to share this on facebook, twitter, and google+, if you use it. Spread my shame, and let everyone get in on the fun!