The last couple of days

********************************** Spoiler! For those who don't like certain 4 letter C words, this post isn't for You. This blog really isn't for You. So sorry... So, rules have been changed. MoonGoddess Eclipse was asking about it's personal brand of humiliation, and seemed quite delighted by it. Now, it is to refer to itself in the third person by it's new name, 'cunt', or as 'it'. And cunt has never been happier in it's life! Oh fuck, being able to feel validated while still being consistently demeaned and degraded, is amaing! Goddess has even been using her cunt more often, even tying it and gagging it while playing games. She even put a vibrator on it's clit and let it melt. This cunt has never felt like that before. Everything hurt, and felt amazing, and cunt loved it, and cunt hated it, and so on and so forth, cunt could honestly go on for a long time. Suffice to say, i am one very happy cunt.

Just a thought on the treatment of Her slave

I just feel like writing. Because then, I can get everything down on "paper" as a means to have an outlet. Because I'm really pent up, and it does things to my mind. I don't even really want to write, I have to catch myself from switching tabs and leaving this writing alone. I don't want to do that. I want to get it out. See, when I get horny, I mean really really horny, I don't want to be a person. I don't want to be viewed as a person. I don't want to be treated like a person. I end up wanting to be a thing. Just a source of amusement that is barely factored into anything. i want to be gagged, and tied, and blindfolded, and given nothing but teasing and torment simply because it's funny. I want to simply exist in this torturous hellspace wherein I just...am. Like the idea I woke up with, and just strapped down to some kind of rolling table, so I can be brought with Mommy, no need to see, to hear, to speak, just a clit and a pussy right there for Her to torture and tease and giggle and enjoy knowing I'm there. The issue I face is that it's hard to explain this, because it sounds like I don't want to be loved and cared for, when I do. I really do. I just don't want it to be as often as it is now. Like, full days doing nothing but being dragged around, teased, beaten and used, and then some loving at the end of the day, to say thank you for taking it all, and to be proud of how much I managed to take and how much I could handle. And then, locked in the cage to await the same fate the next day. Spoken to only when She wants to, touched only when She wants to, just left to wait in the silent darkness for the next agonizing touch, the next round of unendurable teasing. Even left tied up in the cage so I don't forget what I am. I dunno...it's hard to really pin down exactly how I feel about it. Because even typing it, I'm sitting here like, "Do I really want that?" And a big part of my says yes, and a (shrinking) part of me says no. I don't even care if Mommy reads this, I just needed to say it. Love you all! ~ Princess Digit ~

Game

This is just some abstract notes based on what I'm doing.

I set up the input controller, so I no longer need to worry about any input. From there, I'll set up the rest of the notification system, so I can basically get all the data I could need. The notification system will just allow me to get a deep hint whenever anything happens, optimizing my frame rate throughout gameplay.

From there, I'll build the D-monster AI, which seems easy enough, since they aren't too bright to begin with, (their brains are too close together! Hehe), so they just move somewhat idly back and forth.

I hope I can animate the brutal fash smashing fucking they do. It's...intense. lol. But I think they'll work well.

I have to get to work. Sorry for the weird update! <3<3

My Forever Girl

The dim room felt...suffocating. the air was stale, and unbearably hot and humid. She tried to move, but jumped in agony, her numb muscles angry at being awoken.

She cringed as the sharp intensity ran down her spine, driving her entire body to spasm. She struggled to calm herself, breathing deeply, and took in her situation.

Her arms were chained in heavy manacles, the steel biting into the soft, tender flesh of her arm. A heavy chain pulled them strictly up, holding her forward and still, on her knees.

Her mouth was held wide open with a ring, and something very...very big was pressed tightly against her ass, far larger than the small puckered hole it was harshly pressing into.

She waited, trying her best to stay still amidst the unbearable conditions. Every shift in weight pressing the huge dildo into her tiny virgin ass and making her body scream in protest.

A door opened behind her and someone walked in. A loud Smack! filled the air, and she felt her cheeks light up in pain as the slap hit, then gently caressed her soft flesh.

"Mmmmmmmm... You're awake. Good." Before the poor bound girl could say or do anything, she felt long, slender fingers reach into her messy hair and pull her forward. Screaming out in pain, she found a warm, wet pussy in her mouth, the juices already coating her lips and tongue.

"Lick me, you little whore. Or so help me, I'll make this feel like bliss compared to where I put you next." The voice was feminine, a sensual mix of heavy sultry tones mixed with light and sweetness. Like mixing chocolate and strawberry together, but dripping with power and lust.

While her body ached and screamed, she slowly stuck her tongue into the folds of the other woman's sex, tasting every drop of her arousal, every crevice of her lust. The moans and little squirms that came out we're turning on the little bound beauty, who couldn't help but feel a twinge of pleasure at the reactions.

The platinum blonde Goddess enjoying her fun noticed the gleam in her new toys eyes and smirked internally, bend forward seductively and running her fingers up the poor girls sex.

"My my," she said, pressing her pussy coated fingers in the face of her captive, "I can't believe it, is this turning you on? You little whore!" She slapped the her captive hard in the face, leaving a red handprint and tears in her eyes, "I'll let you have some time to reflect on your predicament. I'll be back when I feel like hurting you some more." and with that, the girl in bondage lowered her head as she cried softly into the darkness.

The hours passed slowly. Without any light in the cold, dark room, all the poor girl had to focus on was the tingling in her pussy, and the pain everywhere else while trying to keep the enormous dildo out of her hole.

By the time her captor came back, she was crying softly, her entire body numb with pain. The long hours had driven the 7" wide tip of the dildo into her stretched ass, and she had given up all hope of getting it out. All she could focus on was getting just the tiniest bit of relief.

The footsteps stopped right in front of her, and she slowly looked up.

"Have a fun night? Got more of that dildo in you than I expected you to. Maybe it'll be all the way in if I wait another day..." She trailed off and started to walk away.

"No, please! I'll do anything! Just untie me!" The stress was enough, she couldn't hand another night. Her captor smiled and untied her, slowly stretching out the poor girl's sore muscles and hugging her tight.

"You did so well! That was interesting. Think you'll be up for more sometime, Sugar?"

Sugar nodded gently and nuzzled closer, gripping like her life depended on it. Spice simply held her, until she was ready for more.

Thank You so much for reading. Sugar and Spice will be back. I just have to think of their next scene.

If You want to help support me and my work, become a patron at www.patreon.com/princessdigitbdsm

Yesterday was incredible!

Wow...It was a big weekend, so let me start at the top.

First, Goddess needed me to pick up a few things from the local Amazing sex shop. Namely, a princess plug, and a gag if i could find one that was within our means and decent quality. A few other things, too, if i could afford them.

So, i got my princess plug, and i love it. i love it so very much. i have yet to spend more than 5 minutes without it since. So, yea. But, i did have a plug in for a while before that, so i'm actually at about 3 days with my ass full and plugged...i'm having so much fun!

The other thing i got was a ballgag. Made by Kink.com, and it's phenomenal. Except i forgot to buy a lock again. But, it does lock. It can be locked onto my head and be stuck! We had me sleep in it the first night, but not last night. It was...comfy? Comfy as i imagine having your mouth forced open all night can possibly be. lol. It was incredible. And, though we haven't made any formal announcements to fans, i am sleeping in the cage again. Actually, i'm spending pretty much all my time in the cage. It's not covered or anything, Goddess can look over at me whenever She wants, and all i can really do is chill.

She gave me my phone and told me i could work, and i've been working, but i think i could actually handle the boredom. She had me turn the TV, so i can see it, but i get so lost in my own headspace, i don't care. i'm sure i will eventually, but for now, it's not important. i just...get lost, and in this space where i recognize fully how unimportant i am. Don't read this the wrong way, it's not that i'm worthless or can't do anything, i just...recognize how little i impact anything while i'm locked up.

Because in that time, no one cares what i do. i could watch TV, work, or sleep, and it wouldn't change anything and i know Goddess doesn't care what i do. If it's in the cage, it's fair game. And that is...simply amazing. It's an amazing feeling, and one i'd been searching for, though i appreciate Goddess making sure i have something to do, even if it's not super important that i do anything.

She even did Her own thing without even looking in my direction and it drove me wild.

Maybe i should do an educational piece on my own fetishes...i probably sound somewhat crazy...

Anyway, then yesterday, i was brought to Walmart to get a collar and tag. i got a pretty pink collar with diamond studs all over it, and a collar that says "princess digit, property of Moon Goddess Eclipse" and i love it! i also got a bikini top.

For anyone that doesn't yet know, i'm trans. My boobies are tiny, (but there. i do have a handful!), but i went to the beach in my short shorts and bikini top, collar, and tag and i have never felt quite like that!

Today, i got 2 bikini sets. Both white, because Goddess likes me in white, and i modified them. The tops have no...anything. They are now cupless, just a skeleton of the former swim wear they once were, and i poked a hole in the bottom, so my clit is forever poking out, and i'm wearing one of those now. The other is sitting in bleach, where the one i'm wearing now will be tomorrow. All day tomorrow. Every day, i'll be bleaching one and wearing the other, so i'm always fresh, clean, and white.

i'm so happy, and i don't think anything can bring me down. And now, if you'll excuse me, i must cuddle this cat. Love Y/you!

Princess Digit

Holy fucking shite!

i really don't get the computer often no more. It's really hard to write blog posts, and to those of You who enjoy them, i'm really sorry. W/we don't have much money, so only the one computer, and since i only need mine to work, and She needs it for so much more, She keeps it more often than not. i usually just have my screen.

Oh yea! Tons has fucking changed! So, Mommy has had me in my cage whenever She doesn't have a use for me at the moment. It's a bit small, (i feel like i mentioned the cage before, but whatever, i'm describing it again), but it's awesome. We put a comforter over it so it's always dark and warm and creepy and shut away from everything, but Mommy had some mercy and we converted an old phone into a screen so she can keep my mind stimulated. i don't like the software we had to use, though, so i'll be making some of my own, to fit our purposes a little better, and hopefully speed it up. We are using Splashscreen right now, and it's good for what it does over a good network with two decent systems, but we have...none of that. So when Mommy let's me watch Her tv shows with her, it's super laggy and Mommy doesn't have control over the settings. Plus, i can poke the screen and it does things. i know i'm not sposed to, but i'm capable, and that's the real issue.

We also bought a webcam and set it up in the cage, as well as turned on a remote webcam on the phone itself. So now, i am under 24/7 surveillance inside while locked inside my little cage.

What else...there was more...

Oh, we started designing our own semi-permanent cage home as well, which i'll give details on as Wwe are building it.

And that is a picture of our big scene from the other day. Me suffering as hot wax rains down on me, and the more it hurts, the more i pull, and the worse it got. It was pretty intense, but the candles burned too fast. 

So yea, don't forget to follow me on here, and share this post wherever You feel comfortable! And visit my patreon if You want to follow this interesting unfolding tale of psycho bdsm.

My day of legit hell

Well, maybe not legit, but it was "awful"!

So, W/we decided to torture little ol' me. With heat. i love heat, i absorb a ton and then don't get cold for a good long while, and so Mommy said W/we were going to see how well i could really hack it. We have, like, an ancient space heater, and i was put in my cage, and Mommy just put it in front of me and turned it on. High. My cage is covered in a comforter, so i'm more "stored away" and because it's still pretty cold to be completely naked without cover.

She put the heater under the blanket with me. And it got really...really...really hot. The entire cage was burning hot, so i couldn't touch the bars, and the air was burning my lungs. i had water, so don't think we did this without some safety measures. At first, i was going to work on the computer while She watched TV, (which was on the tv, but through the computer. HDMI cables are awesome), but it quickly got too hot in there for the computer to operate, so Mommy took it away. Then, i had nothing but the orange glow that was causing all my discomfort, two dildos, and me. And so i did as i am required, and stuff the dildo in myself and play. i didn't really want to cum, though. For a lot of reasons. One, i felt pretty gross. i was dripping sweat, and i could smell it all over. Ew. But there's also...after i cum, what's the fun in the torture? When you're super turned on, the torture is sexy because you are being tortured, but once you aren't turned on...it's just...pain...

But, i did eventually cum and the dream of torment turned into a torment of extreme heat and suffering. But, i found that it was still sexy. It might have even been a little more so, because now, it was just straight up suffering. And i really felt like Mommy was enjoying it, despite the silence. The heat needed to disipate from the computer before She could even turn it on!

And everything after that became kinda a blurry hazy feeling. i feel like i was pretty delirious while also being reasonably lucid. Like...i was hunched over, cowering as far away from that evil orange light as i possibly could, while sweat dripped off every inch of my flesh, and my mind just felt like it wouldn't turn on quite completely, but i was aware of what was happening and why. i just...let myself go, and while the circumstances were painful, at least mentally, i loved it. i got to feel so small and insignificant and feel like i was suffering like this just because it made Her smile absently while She chilled out. But, and the rest of this hasn't happened yet, but it's about to, and i'm nervous and excited!

We are going to do a more intense version of me just being left to suffer idly while She relaxes...And i won't really get access to a computer soon, so i'll describe how it felt tomorrow. Maybe. If i feel like it...We took the blanket off the cage and tested the violet wand. For those of you who don't know, a violet wand is an electro-play toy. Anyway, Mommy is going to lock a gag on my head, and cuff my hands to the bars of the cage, and lock it closed anyway, and turn on the electricity, so i can't touch the bars without hurting myself, while She enjoys a candle lit movie. The fact that the candles will be laying across the bars, dripping constantly on me. It'll be super unpredictable, and there will be no escape from any of it. Mommy might even put a wooden dowel in so my legs are kept high up and secured.

After the movie, Mommy is planning on enjoying a nice, slow, relaxing night by locking me into the cage, the computer inside so i can see, and the HDMI copying the feed so we see the same thing, and She is going to enjoy Massachusetts new laws to smoke up, blowing everything into a hose that delivers it under my blanket. There isn't much airflow, so i'll just be rebreathing it constantly while we chill. i might get out once more, to get ready for bed, but then i'll be locked in for the night, cut off from everything. Mommy said She might smoke a bit more, and keep blowing it into the cage, (i think She will), and i'll just have to wait for Her to let me out tomorrow.

i'm enjoying this so very much and i love that i found someone who completes me so much. And if You are enjoying hearing about them, hit up my patreon and become a patron so it can get more intense and deeper, and we can start making stuff! But, we should have pictures available after tonight, though i think they'll be a patron only reward, but i'm not sure, so You'll have to hope or join to make sure You get to see it!

Cages, fucks, and slutty slavery...oh my!

So, i lost the right to clothing a while ago. It was mostly mutual, though i admit, in the tail end of winter, it's cold. And when Mommy said it was time for me to start sleeping on the floor, i was super excited by the prospect, and when i came home from work, Mommy had set up a nice bed. She had put a couple of pillows down and a comforter on top for me to sleep on, and i loved it. i was so happy and Mommy had me stay on it until bed time. She had me come on Her bed for a few minutes, and snuggle, and then i went back on the floor. i was super excited for a long while...and then i was cold and sore and uncomfortable all night. i didn't sleep well, but it was kinda expected. And i asked Mommy what she thought about us pulling our old cage down.

We haven't used it in a while because it's a little too small. It's not, like, ludicrously small, but it's not quite the right size. We weren't sure if it would work, but we decided to try. Beyond being sexy as hell, the cage allows Mommy to control when i am anything more than in storage, and allows a little heat for me. As i said, it's cold. And i only have a small blanket to keep warm. It's pretty restrictive, and we've worried a bit about cramping, but i started spending my nights in the cage.

i got a bad cramp the first night, and i was thankful Mommy didn't lock the door. i also had my cummy in the cage. i thought i was being quiet, but Mommy laughed really hard when i told her that. She knew damn well what i was doing.

The next night, (last night), she said she just rolled over and passed out. i'm in it right now, with Mommy just chilling out with Joker on the bed.

i'm excited to see where it goes from here.

Weird couple days..wanna hear about it?

I live with family. i can't afford to live on my own, despite two incomes. i am very ambitious, but i don't know how to get from point A to point B. i know this about myself, but i'm really bad with it. It's not me bitching about it, i need You to know it as it pertains to the story i'm about to paint. i'm also ignoring honorifics like W/we, because it's a bit harder to read.

Yesterday, after work, Miss decided we were doing a scene. We had actually discussed it a bit, and we were going to do it to drive me wild. She was going to hogtie, hood, and abuse me. And we did get the hood on, and the hood, but Miss didn't want to go easy on me at all, and she started with some impact play on my ass. i think she was using the cane for a bit, but it was a little hazy, the beginning especially. i'm not really sure how i ended up laying on my belly and cuffed to the bed, but i remember Miss demanding i get my ass up and my face down, by doing it herself.

So, ok, there i was, my ass high in the air, my face smooshed into the bed, and Miss caning my ass softly and teasingly. She grabbed the bottle and dripped some lube down between my cheeks. it was cold, and it made me jump just a bit. i felt her shove a finger in my cunt and ram it in a few times before grabbing a dildo and shoving it deep into me. i definitely jumped, and then she grabbed the cane again and started whacking harder, making sure to hit the end of the dildo a few times. 

At some point, she grabbed the hitachi wand and left it buzzing under me, caning me to show me i didn't get it. She caned and paddled me a while, actually, the mixed feelings of pain and pleasure growing, and my mind melting in the hood. 

i was absolutely desperate at that point. i would have done anything to cum, i think. And Miss shoved me down, positioning me so the hitachi was directly on my clit, and my mind lit on fire. i couldn't move, because i needed that stimulation. i couldn't breathe because the slightest motion might derail it. And still She paddled me. And i felt my orgasm coming, a little closer with every smack!

And finally, i did cum. But i couldn't move. Couldn't scream. Couldn't do anything at all. And Miss didn't notice, or didn't care. i still don't know which. And she kept paddling. The vibrator stayed on my clit. There was no fanfare. There was just a bodily function. 

Then, we were interupted by my grandmother needing my help. 

Today, Mommy and i started working on some ideas for a really awesome sex toy. Not really even a dildo, it's...completely new. We'll be getting started on building it very soon, and then it'll become a thing we make. 

In hopes that Mommy sees this...

This is only a quick post. i'll write a lot more later on. i'm only writing this in the hopes that Mommy sees it and decides i've been good enough to have earned it.

i really want to be hogtied for a long time again tonight. With the hood on, and the subliminal recording playing in my ears. i really want to be teased to extreme degrees, with no real rest or break, just way too much stimulation constantly until i'm a mess. i want Mommy to just enjoy me. i loved being a decoration, but i'm so so desperate to feel like a fucktoy...and i hope Mommy just gets everything started, without telling me She read this.

Fucktoy Ahoy!

Now, i don't know if You know this, but i'm a toy. The brain works perfectly, just no one is paying much attention to what's happening in there, that kind of thing. Well, i got to really feel like it for a while earlier. It also made me think there might be a pretty awesome kinky version of "Truth or Dare" in there...you know, for game nights with the swingers.

But, as i lay there, feeling my own aroual betraying me time and again, with no stimulation whatsoever, in a hogtie, hooded, i couldn't help but really enjoy the sensations.

i know Mommy is planning stuff where i'm left at home like that with guests around, but i'm kinda scared about what that many hands could do to my poor, fragile, delicate little fucktoy mind. Overstimulation, be it pain or pleasure, could probably manage to break me faster than a lack thereof. i was tied for a good 45 minutes to an hour, (about to try a few hours of it now), but i didn't really process time.

i was also thinking of products and services we could offer. We have a lot of plans, but nothing i feel like i can do right now. Tomorrow, i'm going to try to make an alien cock out of clay. Really something that i would love to feel using me. And i'm going to make a nice, big, fat, painful dildo. And i am going to post pictures of them. i'll post a couple here, but my patrons will get to see them in use. They'll get to see me masturbate with a huge alien dildo, and maybe even get video.

i think that's one of the things i'm really and truly loving about my life right now. i can be the nasty, disgusting, perverted slut, and my Mommy just eggs me on to be even more so. i think She likes the idea of me being the biggest slut i can possibly be. She wants us to be the biggest kink icons we can be. i do, too, but i'm just enjoying being used, and fucked, and teased, and abused, and humping everything and fucking myself with whatever and my life being just so...sexual in such a way that i'm only calm during the periods where we need to be calm. And beyond that, i'm already pretty uncontrollable, and it's only those few acts that i feel Mommy wouldn't want me to do, (even though She already told me i could and i'm just being a stupid cunt), that i don't do more often.

i can't wait to experience a few hours in silence and in bondage, just there as a decoration and a toy. It's going to be awesome.

Yesterday was freaking weird, tonight was fucking awesome!

Ok, so i'm still new to real slavery. So far, it's been kind of a weird mix of doing whatever the hell we wanted mixed in with whatever toys we could manage to get our hands on. It wasn't an entirely effective mix, i'm sure that those of you who have been slaves or Owners for a while are shaking their head at me right now, or have at least once.

So, yesterday was it's own trip. i got ready for work with nipple clamps and clothespins on, and got my first real proper punishment. i had a cummie by accident while adding to my tumblr queue. Mommy understood, but that didn't get me out of anything.

So, i'm going to jump to the fun bits, starting from the punishment. Mommy said that since i was naughty, but told her about it, i wouldn't be punished too severely. i was placed in a corner, on my knees, my legs spread wide, facing the wall, with my hands behind my head for 15 minutes. i think we both just sorta assumed that that wouldn't be a big deal, it's more about being quiet anyway, but dear god...

For those of you who don't know, and don't have the itch to discover it themselves, you get super sore. Like, your body aches to move, to release the strain of the position. So, 15 minutes took forever, and i was ready to cry by the end of it. When Mommy finally said i could move, i collapsed. After something like a dozen attempts to get up, i finally made it to the bed.

Mommy and i talked about it for a bit. And it was awesome, yet horrible, and we decided we would be starting real training on positions. i sealed my own fate right at that moment.

After work today, (Mommy got a free day off with pay today), Mommy said i'm no longer allowed to walk in our bedroom, and put down my food and drink in a dog bowl, which i happily ate out of. There was actually something super awesome about it. i kept wagging my butt at her, and while i don't even know if she actually saw it, it made me happy.

It actually took me kind of a long time to eat, as i don't have a snout that the bow was designed to accomodate, but i managed. Actually, drinking out of a bowl was a lot easier than eating, once i kinda had an idea as to what to do. i'm sure eating like that will get easier.

Mommy let me have a big hug and we got to training.

The chart of positions we are using for training. Consider it the rough idea.

Mommy had me be in Tower, Bracelets, and Nadu for 5 minutes each. i was allowed to see what was on the tv and talk, but i was actually pretty focused on my positioning and letting myself get to know each ache and pain, trying to figure out what i could do to stretch those muscles more throughout the day.

i had so much fun working on my positions, though most of my body hurts right now. i had to stay pretty much completely still throughout, and the positions were pretty straining. 

Oh, and we went to get Mommy a new cane and a new paddle, and there's a possibility i might start working, and potentially teaching classes, at the Adam and Eve not too far from here. The manager seemed pretty impressed with me, and i have been taught how to GIVE all the pain, even if i'm not super at receiving it all. 

All in all, it was a good couple days. i feel super close to my Mommy right now, and she's sitting next to me as i type, and i bet she's looking forward to reading this all as well. i love You, Mommy!

Also, please share this. i'd love to have people reading about my training and the fun i have with Mommy. i'd love it if you'd share on any platform you use, or copy and paste the url to forums. Thank You!

Mental Transition Point

Did you know that slaves who are in training go through a bunch of mental transitions? This is where their minds either really suddenly have to process everything, or find acceptance with what's going on. The former is really hard on both the slave and Owner, as the slave feels suddenly trapped and scared, while she second is, apparently, much more pleasant.

So, to start, slept naked, but without the tail. my poor little butthole was too sore to keep something in it all night long, and Mommy said that i been good enough that i could take it out. But, i woke up considering nudity, nudism, and humiliation this morning, and i realized, i don't care who sees me naked. My body is nothing to be ashamed of, and my Mommy thinks it's sexy, and that's literally all that matters.

Plus, i'm a fucking toy. i should be naked. i should never really be dressed. Sure, my nudity might always have a dash of sexuality to it. i'll be dripping and needy and stuffs, but i'll still be me, still have my mind and personality, and can still hang out, but...be...y'know, nakie.

The other thing that has been on my mind a lot is Mommy seems to be getting into the idea of leaving in bondage in a semi-public setting. Just putting me in chastity so i can't be fucked, but can be spanked and molested and stuff. i dunno how i feel about it.

i mean, i'm a toy. i'll do whatever Mommy tells me to, up to and including letting everyone punish me, but i dunno...Mommy and i will need to talk about it before anything does actually happen, but i'm unsure about it.

So, i say, no more clothes for digit! Yay! Nakie digit!

Crazy day yesterday

So, the day before yesterday, my car got a flat tire, so all day yesterday was spent trying to fix it. Because no place that does tires is open on sunday. I was really stressing out, but I did eventually find a place, but it didn't get finished until 4 in the afternoon. There was no time for much! But, since we had such a hard day, we got to get D'Angelos subs, (we both got steak and cheese! :)), and we still got to go and get Mr. Stuffins. He's my new bear. i call him Mr. Stuffins, but his first name is really Dick.

Then, we smoked up and chilled out for like the whole rest of the night. Mommy teased the ever loving shit out of me though! I got edged like 3 times last night and like 15 times this morning, because She was relentless! She was having me play with Her and giggling when i was all like, "Mommy, please stop or i'll cummie!"

But, She did let me cum, but i think she didn't think the permission would do anything. i can't usually cum under pressure, but i was so fucking turned on, i was a dripping little mess and she was loving it.

Now, i'm having a smokie while i type. i have to get ready for work, and i really don't want to. i want to be making porn, working on toys, stories, and my game. i want to be pleasuring her, and in tight bondage. i want to be hers all the time, not just when we are free to actually act like it.

It sucks.

But, She did say that i would sleep hogtied and in my hood. i like that. i made a subliminal track to play all night long, which will probably make me just as turned on come tomorrow morning...when i have to go to work again. Ugh. Being a grown up is super hard.

i have to go take a shower and wash all the filthy slavey-ness off myself so i don't stink like a whore at work. bye bye!

Oh! You should support me on Patreon if you are enjoying all this. It'll let us get our company started up, which is going to make toys, stories, games, media, and more. We'll be a one stop fetish shop!

About my day and feelings; March 4th, 2017

I needed to write. I'm sorry that it's not a story, but it is very sexual and I think it's pretty hot.

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm an owned sex slave. I am very extreme, and into a lot of things most people would find disturbing, not even remotely sexual, never mind sexy, and find the inner workings of my brain meats terrifying. I don't care. I will never care, and I refuse to follow the status quo anymore, despite years of trying.

My Owner, Moon Goddess Eclipse, has just recently realized how much she enjoys this fact, and is discovering how intense her fetishes were, and how far they can be pushed as well. She has always had a thing for psychosis.

Anyway, today I had my first task. It was written out on facebook, but she added to it while i drove Her to work. It was my day off, but she was working in the morning. i was given a task to edge myself three times, at specific times, and take pictures for her to review later. In the car, she added naked, and gagged all day, but I somehow misunderstood exactly what i was meant to do. So, when i got home, i stripped and plugged myself with my tail, and got to work, edging myself the whole time.

It was already close to the first scheduled time, so it was only a few minutes before i decided to start, but I thought it would be sexier if i recorded it, so i lubed up my ass, (her favorite fuck hole), and my big double sided dildo, and I fucked myself. For like a good 20 mins. It felt so fucking good, and it was really hard to stop, but I did. And I was kinda proud of myself, actually.

I used that to make a gif, posting it on facebook, hoping she would see it. She didn't, because she didn't have her tablet or anything with which to see it, but I was still pretty pleased with myself, and other people did see it, which I think was kind of the point. I then went back to work, playing with myself the entire time. It was...the most equisite agony, because there came a point where the slightest touch to my clitty was too much to handle, but I still had to keep going. And I did. I would move to every part of my cunny, stimulating myself and drowning myself in all the hormones that cause arousal.

A while of work went by, and my mind was completely running amok with ideas and scenarios and ideas, all of which were hot to me, but getting scarier by the minute.

When it came time to fuck myself again, I needed it badly, and spent half an hour fucking my ass with my biggest dildo, moaning like a little whore. At that point, I just wanted some kind of an audience, especially if it was only Miss. But, all i got was the camera, taking pictures when i was at my most needy, my most vulnerable.

It was so hard to stop. I didn't want to. I wanted to cum so very very badly. I needed it, and my mind was swooning with the hormones, drowing in them, and I was feeling lower and lower, until I felt like a beast, some wild thing who understood nothing but fucking and cumming. My mind was only focused on sex, my body was burning with need, my ass just wanted to be fucked more, while my cunt was crying to be touched, used, filled...I couldn't, but I wanted to so very badly.

Then, after I picked up Miss, we were going to get my my own stuffie, (i am still a little, after all), but then my tire went flat, and the night had to end there. At 6pm. And it sucked. So today is about picking up after that whole mess, though I do think I still get to get a stuffie today. Yay!

I hope you enjoyed this! I'm going to try to write more often. Let me know what you think of my plight in the comments, and I'll write about the next big cool thing when it pops up. And don't forget to share this on facebook, twitter, and google+, if you use it. Spread my shame, and let everyone get in on the fun!

NSFW 1

Ranting

I'm having an interesting day, and I just want to really go into some of the pictures that I've found that look just...absolutely terrifying in this incredibly sexy ways. And I'm going to give you an idea how I view them all, from the surface down. Pictures ahead, and rather intense ones, but this is going to be good.

Oh, the feeling of those unyielding manacles, feeling them gently dig into your flesh, not budging as you fight Your mouth held wide open, and your entire body completely on display. The position is humiliating and inviting, and yet, you are made even more the spectacle with the large dildo firmly planted deep inside you. You've already enticed someone to cover you in their seed, granting their approval of your humiliation, your list, your need. You entice as much as the hard gag will allow, opening your mouth obscenely wide. You are being objectified. You are a sex object to them. But it means you are beautiful, and desired, and when they cum, you feel a tingle of glee run up your clit, expanding into your stomach and making you moan with delight.

She had grown up with him. It was pretty much inevitable that they'd end up here. She'd been his slave from the moment she first saw him, and her submissive nature only grew as they aged. He was her only love, the only one she'd ever seen, and the only one she could ever hope to want. He was kind, and cruel, loving and cold, everything she ever dreamed of. She loved the bondage, and the sex. She loved to wake up every morning to suck him as much as she could possibly manage to get his pants off. She longed to be his to torture and abuse forever. And it killed her to know she'd be licking his cum out of his new slut once he had finished with her.

I'm cold. How about a little danger?

She Likes it Hot

First things first, I need to say it out loud, and directly to you, or the rest of this story will make no sense. I am a slave. I am a slave by choice. I want to serve, and I enjoy the pain and suffering I live every single day. I am not some bimbo, and I am not some kind of freak. I just like things differently than you. I'm that girl who likes mint chocolate chip ice cream, even when everyone else is getting vanilla. I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm only going to tell you about that snowy day last year, when my Master gave me so much more than I imagined, and how proud I felt for it all.

It was early January, and it had just snowed. I came in from shoveling outside and popped into the kitchen to make a cup of hot cocoa for Master and myself, making sure to put just the right amount of marshmallows in each. I brought it out to him and knelt down beside him, holding his mug out to him and lowering my head. His hands found the crown of my head and gently patted me, filling me with a sense of joy that I can't explain. He pet me for a few minutes before taking his mug, a sign which also gave permission for me to have some of mine, and I took a small sip of the piping hot liquid, making a little slurp. 

"It must be cold outside," he said, looking down at me. I smiled, "Nothing you're little snow bunny can't handle, Master. I made sure everything was nice and clean." His smile grew wider, and I felt that familiar pang in the pit of my stomach. He just thought of a plan, and I was going to experience something painful or terribly intensely pleasurable. I made sure not to show signs of my understand, however. He liked when I seemed surprised by his actions, when I didn't know he had something planned. 

Nothing more was said for a while, as we sipped our hot chocolate, watched some ridiculous crime drama on tv, and let an hour or two slip away. We spoke to one another fairly casually, about the show, and about the characters, and it was a pleasant way to spend some time with my Master. But, I could feel my own stomach complaining, and I knew his would shortly follow, if it hadn't already.

"What do you think about some barbecue for dinner tonight?" He asked, suddenly and almost as if he was reading my mind, which he has a wont to do. I smiled brightly and looked up at him, "Sounds tasty. I could make you a nice barbecue chicken, if you'd like. Or I can see if we have any ribs or anything like that?" I suggested. Master was a bit of a picky eater, and had to have the right sense for the food at any given moment.

"Well, I was thinking that tonight, I could cook." He said, almost acting timid about the suggestion. It gave me pause, since he hated cooking and hadn't been timid about anything he wanted since we'd gotten together.

"That would be fine if you'd like to, Master. Would you like me to get anything ready for you?" I asked, cautiously. I didn't want him to get suspicious that I knew something I wasn't supposed to yet. He smiled, a dark smile that made me shake to my very core with excitement and fear. "Go and strip, and get me some sauce, something to put it on with, and what the hell, open a can of pineapple for me." I jumped to go and do as I was told. It was instinctual now.

I ran into the kitchen, quickly stripping my t shirt and panties off and neatly folding them on the counter to wait for me to put them back on, and grabbed the ingredients Master had requested. I found him waiting for me, a bag of charcoal in one hand, several bundles of rope in the other, that evil, seductive smile still plastered on his face.

I froze in place, in position, and looked at him for a second. I don't know why, but for just a fraction of a second, I was actually scared of whatever he had planned. I mentally shook out the thoughts and got into position, my legs spread wide, my hands behind my lowered head, and waited.

"Oh good girl!" He said. I tried my best not to smile. It was always nice to hear Master call me that. But I persevered, holding back everything to remain still and ready, though an inkling of the fear sat in me, waiting for it's moment of vindication, He moved towards me, and I remained still. He stood right up against me, and I didn't budge. My eyes focused on the far wall ahead of me, I remained still and ready.

I felt the sting of his palm before I heard the loud smack, as he slapped my pussy hard, making me jump and my legs shake, but I held my concentration, kept myself as still as I could. He smiled at my efforts and playfully ran his fingertips up my lips, his one finger just barely penetrating the valley. I withstood, standing tall in my submission to him. To the power he granted me as his loving servant.

His fingers trailed their way up my body, sliding along the skin of my stomach so barely, it almost tickled without feeling anything at all. I could feel my mind slipping into a deeper sense of need, but I held it back. I would do this well. I would not give in.

His fingers found their way to my nipple, and they squeeze and twisted, making me cry out softly. I stayed still, though, my body ravenous with need. I would make damn sure to be extra cute and sexy, because I needed him to fill me. He smiled again, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me quickly to him, placing his lips on my ear, his hot breath brushing oh so gently across my skin, and whispered, "Come with me."

The words made me whimper, and his smile grew as he lowered my head and walked forward, his hand at this side, my body bent forward and my legs bent to accommodate him. It was difficult to walk, but I needed to do it. His control, my obedience, both fueled me further, making me want it more, making me want him more. He opened the door and I saw he had shoveled the porch, the slats of wood a dark contrast to the pure white snow around it. He moved me outside, the bitter cold burning my bare flesh, and put me down, into a kneeling position. He stepped aside and I saw he had cleared off a decorative arch in the yard.

He chuckled to himself as he sat on a bench behind me to put on his boots. "I know what you're thinking, but hey, I'm right here, and I promise you'll be safe. My little snow bunny can handle anything I throw at her, right?" I was kicking myself for ever having said that, but I nodded. I could handle this.

Master stood up, boots firmly fastened, and grabbed my head again, pulling me into the snowy yard. The snow on my bare flesh burned, but I felt like the heat from my loins would melt it too fast.

Mercifully, he moved me more quickly, despite my struggling, and brought me in front of it, raising my head until I stood on my tip toes, shivering as my skin became covered in goose pimples. He pushed, throwing my off balance, and I caught myself on the cold steel of the arch.

It didn't burn as much as I expected it too, and I watched him descend upon me, pushing me up, up, until my ass rested at the curved peak, hanging down between two slats, and he began securing me. Ropes flew across my ankles, above and below my knees, at the very base of my hips. I shiver as the wind blows, throwing powdered freezing all over my front, the snow burning. I held in a scream and Master sped up, getting my arms secured just as tightly as my legs. He brushed the bits of snow off me, and smiled, kissing from my shoulder down, not missing anything, all the way to where my ass dipped under the arch.

"Does my snow bunny still think she can handle anything?" He asked, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I stood my ground. I was in place, I was ready. Nothing he could throw at me any more painful than the snow. I nodded, and he grinned, moving outside my field of vision, where I couldn't see what dastardly way he could manage to torment me more, and he returned with a log, one he had prepped in case of a bigger storm.

He tossed it under me, and it all finally clicked into place. I squirmed and struggled, pleading with my eyes. Begging him through the window of my soul not to continue. But I never said a word. I trusted him with my life every day, and there is nothing I would not do if he wanted to, but the fear I felt filled my every cell with dread. He ignored my eyes, getting down under me and lighting the log, giving my ass a hard smack as he stood, watching the fire spread through the log. Though it was small, and not exactly close to me, I could feel the heat on my ass, pleasant at first, but quickly growing intense. The fire danced below me as the heat spread to my back, my limbs warming up, and my ass feeling as though it was engulfed in flames.

The contrast between the heat and the cold of the floating powder and bitter winds was intoxicating, and despite the pain, I kept myself quite, though I could not escape waggling my ass, trying to move and reduce the pain as much as I could.

Master ran his fingertips down my waist, down my thigh, and moved down, so my poor burning ass and pussy were in full view. He chuckled softly and watched as I danced from the heat, letting out only small whimpers and moans. He stepped onto the bottom run, and I could feeling the cold of his coat and pants brush my legs.

"How is my little snow bunny doing?" He asked. Through gritted teeth came my agonizing reply, "Your snow bunny is doing wonderfully, thank you, Master." He smiled at the old code he had drilled into my head so well. He smiled and I felt his fingernails clawing into my flesh, the pain so enhanced by the cold, it was such beautiful agony.

"I'm glad to hear it. Perhaps she'll get a reward then." I felt him press deeper between my legs, and felt the burning hot tip of his glorious member press into me, and thrust with a passion I could never describe deep into me, the cold of his clothing burning away at every inch of me, a welcome rest from the heat, and I gave in.

"Oh god, Master, I'm sorry, I can't hold it in any longer, god, please fuck me Master, I'll do anything you want if you please fuck me!" I couldn't move in any way that would help get any leverage with his perfect rod. He didn't react to my pleas, but just continued to slowly move himself, enjoying my struggling attempts at squirming for more. My body pulled at the ropes and worked at the steel, but my helplessness was set.

Moving slowly and deliberately, he drove me out of my mind as my body froze while burning with both passion and flame, the pain and pleasure mixing and swirling inside me, my mind melting with the sensations. I focused so entirely on everything, I felt my mind become one with the thoughts, the feelings, the actions, the pain, the pleasure, Master...

He pulled out, my cunt convulsing with need. I didn't care about the pain anymore, I just needed him to fuck me, use me, and make me his once again. I begged through the gag as I moved what little I could, struggling uselessly to tear at him, and he walked slowly around, resting his cock directly on my face. I could feel my own juices coating him, but all it did was frenzy me. I knew he wanted me to show off. But I just couldn't and the conflict was killing me.

I couldn't move, I was frozen in the moment, needing desperately to please him in every conflicting way, while he just stood, his eyes on me, as his cock pulsated inches from my needy lips. I would give anything for it, even risk punishment right now, but I just couldn't move. He finally pulled back and pressed his full length past my lips and down my throat, until I could feel his powerful balls resting on my eyes, warming them and filling me with the scent of his musk.

I relaxed my throat as best I could through heaves as I willed myself under control. My brain was in sudden overdrive, and I could only focus on my own actions. It was a moment where everything was full, and clear, and powerfully real. And it was the moment right before Master pulsated in my mouth, filling my stomach with his glorious seed.

He waited a moment, and pulled out, putting himself away quickly and leaning down to kiss my forehead, "That was absolutely incredible. Let's get you warmed up, you've earned a treat tonight!" I'm still panting, my head is still reeling, but the break let my mind clear, and I nod, disoriented and aching all over.

Inside, Master let me curl up on his lap on the couch, He let me put on a ditzy romantic comedy that he thinks are so stupid, and cuddled up under a nice warm blanket. I curled up close, feeling close and happy and more content and accomplished than I had in a while. Master's hands rubbed gently up and down my back, and the warmth and touch of his skin made me sigh and stretch out a bit, curling up tighter into him.

His hands found their way forward, his fingertips dancing around my mons, making me jump and hope beyond hope this was going where I was hoping. Tiny bit by tiny bit, he moved closer, until his fingers pressed between my legs, rubbing my desperate clit gently. I immediately jumped and almost screamed out a moan, grabbing his arm and arching my back. After the days of teasing, and the incredible scene we had just had, my body had lost all control, but wouldn't give in. I clutched Master's arm as hard as I could and trembled, my whole body caught precariously on the razor's edge of orgasm. Master kept me there, my mind and body lost to the waves of pleasure, my eyes rolling to the back of my head and every muscle convulsing, twitching, every neuron in my brain completely lost to the blinding agony of pleasure.

After what felt like an eternity, he mercifully allowed me release, and I screamed, my brain and body on fire, my entire body alight with the most incredible pleasure. My toes curling so hard, I thought my feet might break, and even feel good, my body in a fit of spasms as my lungs emptied multiple times,

My mind went blank for a moment, but I still remember feeling it, intensifying every moment, until the wave broke, and I was left panting, paralyzed, too tired to move and inch. Master just pulled me into his lap and cuddled me, as I slowly drifted off to sleep. 

How about a story? It's a dull winter's day here, so I want to spice it up.

The Long Weekend Pt 1.

It had been snowing for...god, 2 days? It was pretty much impossible to get the door open, never mind drive. I hadn't even heard a plow for a while, so it may be actually impossible. So, I had made today about enjoying time with Master. I had dug out my old paws, my kitty ears, and my plug tail. I couldn't believe how small it seemed now that we'd been doing so much more. I pulled off what little clothing I was allowed on such cold days and fit the ears onto my head, smiling and batting at them softly for a moment, reliving old moments. I got on all fours, my head low to the floor and my ass as high as I could get it, slipping the plug easily into myself. The smaller head reminded me of how hard Master has worked to make my ass perfect.

I slipped the gloves gently over my slender fingers and crawled to the mirror the has leaned against the naughty wall since I moved in. It was covered in kiss lipstick, a reminder of my bratty past, Master always said. 

I poked my nose in a little black body paint, giving just the tip a nice kitty black look and sat back on my knees to try a few of my old poses. Lifting my hands to just under my chin and pouting, and rolling on my back to expose my soft belly. I knew Master would love it, and I turned around, crawling expertly on the carpeted floor I was always so close to. Master was in the living room, sprawled out on the couch in his comfy sweater and jeans. It was what he always did on days like this. I moved into the living room and gave the softest mew I could. I wanted him to look for me. I wanted him to play with me...

I moved around the back of the couch, mewing every few feet, never much more than a whisper, drowned out by the tv. But I could see his ears moving around, picking up something. He started to turn his head and I darted off, trying my best not to giggle out loud. I kept moving and giving him little mews a few more minutes before he noticed me. His eyes narrowed, focusing hard on me. I smiled brightly and began to run away, crawling as fast as my limbs would take me. I heard him coming off the couch, play running behind me as I crawled towards the kitchen. I slid under the table and waited for him to come in. 

He moved around a bit, probably trying to find the right angle to grab me from while still blocking the door. I waited, wiggling my butt in anticipation of running away again. It wasn't fun without the chase. 

His leg moved just enough to be safe and I was off, but he was quicker than I thought, and he grabbed me by my hips, pulling me back to him as he sat down on the floor with a huff. I smiled and turned around, nuzzling into his chest and pawing at him, arching my back as much as I could manage in the hopes he would consider using his fingers to make his kitten feel good, but he knew me far too well. He petted me softly while I nuzzled into his neck, his chest, smelling his scent with everything my stupid human nose could. 

A few minutes of absolutely wonderful petting and cuddling later, I was getting bored. I was hoping for more...

I started pawing gently at his pants, carefully rubbing his cock with my paws and giving him the best needy pout I could. He smiled, reaching down and unzipping his pants. I hopped on my back paws and curled up on the kitchen floor, lapping at every inch of exposed skin I could, until his beautiful cock sprang out from the confines of his denim prison. I smiled happily and lapped at the base, feeling a tingle run down my spine at the taste of his musk. I licked from the base to the tip, letting only the very tip of my tongue touch him at all. My pussy convulsed a little, giving me the most delicious twinge of pleasure through me as I listened to him moan softly. 

Every lap of my tongue, I pressed just a little bit harder, until my tongue was pressed hard against the bare flesh of his twitching dominator. I sat up and tilted my head, a gesture Master taught me when I was training, to let him know I wanted to go further now. He nodded, and I hopped again, letting myself fall onto his meat, letting it fill my mouth completely. 

Careful not to let my teeth so much as touch his cock, I started bobbing my head, quickly ramping up the pace for my own sake, needing his pleasure more than he did. He put his hands on my head and I stopped, looking up into his eyes. He moved my head slowly, all the way down to the base of his glorious tower, the the tip of it's celestial spire, and again, slowly all the way down. I tried my best to tighten my lips as he used my throat to tease himself. I feel I've gotten quite adept at keeping my body in check, but I gag when he holds me down, and he keeps me there, my throat convulsing on him, until the point I start to break. Then he slowly pulls me up, savoring the control we have worked on together for so long.

I mewed softly, sitting back on my haunches and spreading my knees wide for him. Begging with my eyes and body for him to continue, to take me, to let his lion roar and feast on the flesh of his kitten. He smiled, knowing exactly how I felt, and tried to act the graceful leader, but stumbling, causing his kitten to giggle and pounce, kissing his face with the tip of my tongue, gentle and playful as a kitten should be.

He disentangled me from himself and stood, walking back to the living room, and back to where we store our day toys. He pulled a few lengths of rope out, each a different color, pink, purple, black, red, and white. Kittens favorites. I squeeled in delight, racing to him and getting back in position, back on my haunches, my knees wide, my paws under my chin, my body tight with excitement, my every cell focused on the ropes.

He moved to me, and I felt his power over me. Immense waves of control and care washed over me as he got on one knee, His hands raced over my flesh as he wove the ropes around my flesh, under my knees and around my thighs, my calves, until stretching my leg was impossible. The tightness, the ache of the rope, the helplessness all served to make my poor pussy twitch with desperation. I needed more. I would only be able to get it by being his good pet. His good girl. All I've ever wanted to be.

The purple rope went around the other leg, wrapped just as tightly, until my other leg was just as unmovable as the first. I knelt forward, falling forward until my knees alone rested on soft tufts of carpet. I took a few tentative steps, and realized how easy this could be to run in and took a test run around the couch.

He laughed gently when I fell taking the third bend. He gently reminded me that all kittens fall sometimes. I silently glared, I was more graceful than that and he knew it. I walked back over to him and he went back to work, tying my arms bent the same as my legs, and just as tight. I felt so helpless as he stood up and went back to the toy chest. I'd never been very good at walking when he tied all four limbs, never mind running. I couldn't stop him now, whatever he wanted to do.

He came back and fitted my head harness onto me, the cold leather a chilling contrast to the heat I felt in my cheeks. He tightened all the straps, the X across my face, the hard leather ball in my mouth, the collar around my neck, until there simply wasn't any more slack to give. He petted my head once it was secure and scooched his body back round me, and pulled out the tail. He set it aside and held up an anal hook, a big iron curve with a large ball on the end. He pressed the cold metal of the hook against my puckered hole and I felt myself seize up slightly. Relax, I reminded myself. I relaxed, the cold of the metal pressing deeper and deeper, stretching me wide, until the middle passed and the ball slid into me.

The feeling of my insides stretching to allow the ball made me tingle more, and I moaned into my gag, my hips moving slightly, back and forth. I couldn't help it anymore. I needed it, and I was losing control. And, I thought, I couldn't do anything but hope he was in the mood for more, to let me cum, to give me the release I couldn't believe I needed so badly.

He tied the white rope to the hook, pulling it though the harness, and pulling it tight, my back arched as body twisted for the rope. The ache was incredible, the pain from the hook intense, and the look of twisted, evil lust in Master's eye was almost enough to drive me to orgasm right then and there. I knew it was going to be an incredible weekend.

More to Come!

Abasiophilia

The fetish of disability, ultimately, can be broken into two categories; the dominant and the submissive. This can be in multiple positions as well, with either party fitting into either role, and can go further still with those who desire becoming disabled.

That may sound unusual.

Let's go through the classic psych, then my theories.

Some of the more classic beliefs as far as what could have sparked this desire within a person are as follows.

• Imprinting. This is actually pretty interesting, and is a concept spread over much of psychology. It's believed that things we see and feel when we are young imprint on our minds, and can cause various changes in the mind and lifestyle of the future us. So the sight of someone in a wheelchair early in our lives can spark a feeling of wanting to be with someone who is bound by the same restrictions, or vice versa, where a hospital visit could spark a desire to become disabled themselves. 
• An inferiority complex. People who had been made to feel inferior in childhood could actually fork into the same two paths. 
• Attention seeking. People who are disabled tend to garner more sympathy, and get more attention and help in life. Young people who see or interact with various disabled people could feel that it's easier to get attention, and it becomes part of how they view attraction.

There are others, but I want to talk about my theories a bit. Because that's really why I made this blog in the first place, after all.

It's hard to argue about the points brought up above. It makes perfect sense, and it can explain the behavior in both devotees, those who wish to be with disabled folks, as well as people who would rather be disabled. But, my theories actually call into question other fetishes as they would almost certainly play a part in the fun.

Sexology seems to consider each individual 'paraphilia', and seems unwilling to consider that they could be borne of various other outlying causes.

An example. A submissive boy loves being tied up. Adores it. It makes him feel completely alive. So...wouldn't losing the use of a limb, or your mobility, or anything else, pretty much accomplish the same thing, on a deeper scale? Or a dominant woman, who loves having her sub serve her, but doesn't feel like the consistent acts of carefully constructing rope bondage patterns are an effective use of her time? For either of these, the main implication is restriction, restraint, or loss of mobility. There isn't a lot of difference when you break them down into their most basic parts, really.

So what do these three images have in common? None of them are really difficult to move, though they would have a more difficult time moving without the help of another person. They are dependent on someone else, at least for ease of motion, if not for more depending on their own abilities, (save for the second. She is fully dependent.), and it can still become a submissive/dominant duology.

And with that, I think it's enough of my jibber jabber. We'll probably end up coming back to this, but I think tomorrow I want to look more into a deeper theory I have of inter-connectivity between fetishes and desires, and their conceptual origins.

Thank you for reading. If you liked it, please visit my patreon, where I'll be working on an actual game utilizing all the information I'm providing here. It'll be fun, sexy, and a great way to test out the waters on your own.

Fetishes Explained

Fetishes Explained

I came back to this today thinking about yesterday's topic, and feeling like there was something I was leaving out here. This blog can, and very well might, make you feel a bit uncomfortable. To be honest, with some of my theories, I'm a little uncomfortable coming to you with much more candor than a clinical scientist. But I'm not, and I don't want to come across as a stuffy woman who is imagined in a stuffy pantsuit trying to tell you why you like things and make you uncomfortable with a lot of the why as far as how that works.

I swear to god, I'm not that woman. 

I want to discuss these as I normally would, but I need to explain a few things, I think, before I do so, for my own sake. This will be what I point to when I get a lot of questions about who I am, what this is about, and how I can like with myself understanding how some of these are sexy. 

So, to start. I'm not going to tell you my real name, but you can call me Digit. I am happy to drop the honorific for you, because I don't think it's necessary. I am a 29 year old woman living in Massachusetts. I work a day job, though not one I would consider fulfilling, and I work on research, philosophy, and theoretical sexology and psychology. I also work as a game designer, and a lot of what I'm discussing here is actually being used for a legitimate video game. 

The game, as far as this blog need be concerned, isn't entirely important, (though you will see consistent links to my patreon, because that will support this as well). What's important here is explaining my thoughts, theories, and understanding of the extraordinarily large world of sexual "deviation". 

I can't go too deeply into the history of a fair amount of fetishes, but that's...kinda understandable.

So, let's talk about that word for a moment, shall we? Fetish It's so...taboo, while also being such an exciting feeling, isn't it? Like we're doing something wrong, but it's ok? Some of you are shaking your head at that, but for those who aren't, it's because they learned earlier that there is legitimately nothing wrong with enjoying something different. Every. Single. Solitary. Person. On. This. Planet. Does. It. Once more, with feeling It's ok!

Hell, people who think they don't have one, discuss theirs ALL THE TIME. You know you have that coworker who's a total ass man, don't you? Doesn't that sound a lot like he's sexually idolizing something? It's deemed strangely ok when it's already a sexual thing, doesn't it? High school boys do it all the time, if movies are to be believed.

So, how can I think about this stuff? Simply...this stuff god damned fascinates me. Do you know how unusual some fetishes are? Let's go with the easy little mainstream stuff, (these are very common fetishes), pee, poo, bondage, pain, violation, power. Those got more believable as they went. But you see it, right? How can someone sexualize some of this stuff? I need to know! And, I want to get an idea of where it came from, why they feel the way they do about it, and I want them to be able to read an in depth sexology article about why it's interesting, and how it's fun. 

For some things, that's a challenge. 

So, if you're reading this, I welcome comments. I welcome discussions. I welcome honest discourse, and I will happily keep everything discreet. Let's walk among the freaks and come out feeling better about it. And about ourselves. 

I'll get back tomorrow with the in depth discussion on why disabled cuties are amazing, but for now, I hope you can consider your fetishes with pride. 

Abasiophilia; Disability

Abasiophilia; Disability

You know that feeling when you head out for your first blind date with someone, and when they come, they have a disability affecting their mobility? They are stuck in a wheelchair, or on crutches? For some people, this is an active desire. Whether they want to be wheelchair bound, or love someone in one. 

And why not? People who have such a disability tend to garner more sympathy, at least to some, and there are those who want it to go further than simply helping out with some grocery shopping. Devotees, as they are often called, feel an arousal at the idea of helping out a disabled person, but sometimes in more ways than one. 

...I'm trying to stay super professional, but it's not working, so let's go with more erotic talk that still gets the point across. 

Let's assume you like women for a second. And you see a beautiful girl in a wheelchair, which just so happens to be something you enjoy. It's not just about the girl at this point, you gain a focal point on the fact that she can't walk. How your mind can interpret this is based in other fetishes, as well as other parts of the mind, but you do know you want her. 

Some facets of the theories behind this "paraphilia", (I'm just going to say fetish. I'm not a professional, but a researcher, and a laywoman at that), state that what you really want is her fetish. I don't think this is entirely the case. 

Personally, I think this fetish is about a desire to be support, and a desire to enjoy both the girl and the disability simultaneously. How? It depends on what's going on there. Is she paralyzed at all? Can she move her legs? Does she have legs to move? Is she missing one or both? How much? These questions all come into play, and a lot have to do with amputation, where some part of the body, (generally speaking, limbs, and in our case, legs). 

Now, I'm not going to go into a ton of detail about how hot a girl who has lost her legs is, because it's not exactly respectful of their situation, (just so you know, anyone out there who has lost a limb for any reason, you are beautiful, no matter what). What I'm going to go into detail about is what sex acts could be done, by whom, how, and then I'm going to go ahead and switch it up and do the male perspective, then I'm going to go into the deeper stuff, those who want to be disabled. This is looking like a multi-part episode, so I'm going to leave it here. There's your science. Well, part of it. This is just the surface. 

Tune in next time where we go over sex, the act of becoming disabled, and all the naughty things people fantasize about utilizing disability.

Later! <3

Princess Digit.

Don't forget, you should support me on Patreon so I can keep up with blogs, game work, stories, and any papers I end up publishing. You'd be included, so don't be shy. 

Welcome to the dungeon

Welcome to the dungeon

Hello, I'm Princess Digit. This is my blog. I am here because sex is a hobby and becoming a career for me, and I wanted to be able to have a place where I can talk about it, discuss it, hopefully get some comments which make for an interesting conversation or debate, and to promote myself on a different media site, which is helpful. 

Now, one must question my motives, because that is what people do, and what they are hardwired to do. We are curious people. Now, as for my motives in learning sexology, it's because sex has always been a weird passion of mine. Not generally with vanilla sex, because that's actually fairly easy, and is generally a show of passion or procreation. Boring stuff. I want to get into the interesting stuff. I want to talk about fetishes, from the most mundane that everyone has without realizing it, to the most unusual that most people don't even realize is a thing. From Abasiophilia, to zoophilia, and back again, while building up a list, with definitions and a glossary, and links to my theories, whatever pictures are appropriate to post, etc.

This is going to be a blog that's about the fun and psychology of sex. Science, passion, and lust will be portrayed here, and I'm considering this post as fair warning to those who have stomachs too weak to discuss how anyone could enjoy this stuff. Because we all get to enjoy whatever we want, no matter how possible, impossible, dangerous, or just plain freaky.

Let's get started, shall we? 

Below is a list of all the sexual fetishes, listed, on wikipedia, (links kept intact).

Abasiophilia	People with impaired mobility[3]
Acrotomophilia	People with amputations[4][5]
Agalmatophilia	Statues, mannequins and immobility[6]
Algolagnia	Pain, particularly involving an erogenous zone; differs from masochism as there is a biologically different interpretation of the sensation rather than a subjective interpretation[7]
Andromimetophilia	Trans men[3][8]
Anililagnia	Attraction by young men to older women[9]
Anthropophagolagnia	Raping and then cannibalizing another person.[10]
Anthropophagy	Ingesting human flesh[10]
Apotemnophilia	Being an amputee[4][11]
Asphyxiophilia	Being asphyxiated or strangled[4]
Attraction to disability	People with one or more physical disabilities.[12]
Autagonistophilia	Being on stage or on camera[13][14]
Autassassinophilia	Being in life-threatening situations[4]
Auto-haemofetishism	Bleeding oneself (does not involve ingestion of blood). Type of autovampirism.[18]
Autoandrophilia	A biological female imagining herself as a male[15][16]
Autoerotic asphyxiation	Self-induced asphyxiation, sometimes to the point of near unconsciousness[14]
Autogynephilia	A biological male imagining himself as a female[17]
Autonepiophilia	The image of one's self in the form of an infant.[13]
Autopedophilia	The image of one's self in the form of a child.[19]
Autoplushophilia	The image of one's self in the form of a plush or anthropomorphized animal.[19]
Autovampirism	The image of one's self in the form of a vampire.[20] Involves ingesting or seeing one's own blood.[18]
Autozoophilia	The image of one's self in the form of an animal or anthropomorphized animal.[19]
Biastophilia	Raping a person.[4]
Chremastistophilia	Being robbed or held up[13]
Chronophilia	Partners of a widely differing chronological age[13]
Coprophilia	Feces; also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia[2][21]
Dacryphilia	Tears or crying[22]
Dendrophilia	Trees[4]
Diaper fetishism	Diapers; considerable overlap with paraphilic infantilism[23]
Emetophilia	Vomit[3]
Eproctophilia	Flatulence[24]
Erotic asphyxiation	Asphyxia of oneself or others[25]
Erotophonophilia	Murder, often of strangers (also known as dacnolagnomania).[10]
Exhibitionism	Exposing one's genitals to unsuspecting and nonconsenting others[2]
Feederism	Eating, feeding, and weight gain.[26]
Formicophilia	Being crawled on by insects[13][27]
Forniphilia	Turning a human being into a piece of furniture
Frotteurism	Rubbing against a non-consenting person[2]
Gerontophilia	Elderly people[28]
Gynandromorphophilia	Transsexual or transgender women[3][29]
Gynemimetophilia	Transsexual or transgender women[3][29]
Hematolagnia	Drinking or looking at blood[30]
Heterophilia	Idealization of heterosexuality and/or people who are "straight-acting," especially by non-heterosexual people.[31][32][33]
Homeovestism	Wearing clothing emblematic of one's own sex[34][35]
Hoplophilia	Firearms, guns [36]
Hybristophilia	Criminals, particularly for cruel or outrageous crimes[13][37]
Infantophilia	Pedophilia with a focus on children five years old or younger, a recently suggested term that is not in general use[38]
Kleptophilia	Stealing; also known as kleptolagnia[3]
Klismaphilia	Enemas, either giving or having[3]
Lactophilia	Breast milk[39]
Liquidophilia	Immersing genitals in liquids[39]
Macrophilia	Giants, giantesses.[39]
Maschalagnia	Armpits[40]
Masochism	Suffering; being beaten, bound or otherwise humiliated[2]
Mazophilia	Highly atypical sexual interest focused on female breasts.
Mechanophilia	Cars or other machines; also "mechaphilia."[41][42][43]
Melolagnia	Music[44]
Menophilia	Menstruation[39]
Metrophilia	Poetry[44]
Microphilia	Tiny beings.[citation needed]
Morphophilia	Particular body shapes or sizes[14]
Mucophilia	Mucus[39]
Mysophilia	Dirtiness, soiled or decaying things[3]
Narratophilia	Obscene words[3]
Nasophilia	Noses[39]
Necrophilia	Corpses[2][3][45]
Objectophilia	Specific inanimate objects[2]
Oculolinctus	Licking the eyeballs[46]
Oculophilia	Eyes and activities directly relating to and/or involving the eyes. Voyeurism does not meet classification for this term.
Olfactophilia	Smells[3][13]
Paraphilic infantilism	Dressing or being treated like a baby, also known as autonepiophilia[13] or "adult baby syndrome";[47]considerable overlap with diaper fetishism[23]
Partialism	Specific, non-genital body parts[2][3]
Pedophilia	Prepubescent children, also spelled paedophilia; often confused with hebephilia, ephebophilia, and pederasty[2][48]
Pedovestism	Dressing like a child[49]
Peodeiktophilia	Exposing one's penis[4]
Pictophilia	Pornography or erotic art, particularly pictures[3][13]
Piquerism	Piercing the flesh of another person, most commonly by stabbing or cutting the body with sharp objects[51]
Plushophilia	Stuffed toy animals (Plushies).[52]
Podophilia	Feet[50]
Pygophilia	Buttocks,[53] as in a highly atypical sexual interest focused on the buttocks.
Pyrophilia	Fire[54]
Raptophilia	Committing rape, possibly consensual rape fantasy[13]
Sadism	Inflicting pain on others[2]
Salirophilia	Soiling or dirtying others[3]
Schediaphilia	Cartoon characters or situations[40]
Sexual fetishism	Nonliving objects[2]
Somnophilia	Sleeping or unconscious people[3][13]
Sophophilia	Learning[55]
Sthenolagnia	Muscles and displays of strength[39]
Stigmatophilia	Body piercings and tattoos[4][39]
Symphorophilia	Witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents[4]
Telephone scatologia	Obscene phone calls, particularly to strangers; also known as telephonicophilia[2][13] and scatophilia[56]
Teratophilia	Deformed or monstrous people[57]
Toucherism	Touching an unsuspecting, non-consenting person with the hand[58]
Toxophilia	Archery[44]
Transvestic fetishism	Wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex; also known as transvestism[2]
Transvestophilia	A transvestite sexual partner[13]
Trichophilia	Hair[39]
Troilism	Cuckoldism, watching one's partner have sex with someone else, possibly without the third party's knowledge[14][59]
Urolagnia	Urination, particularly in public, on others, and/or being urinated on. Also referred to as "water sports"[2][3][13][14]
Vampirism	Blood[60][61]
Vorarephilia	The idea of one person or creature eating or being eaten by another; usually swallowed whole, in one piece[62]
Voyeurism	Watching others while naked or having sex, generally without their knowledge; also known as scopophilia or scoptophilia[2][14]
Wet and messy fetishism	Messy situations, including, but not limited to, being pied, gunged or covered in mud
Zoophilia	Animals[2][3][13]
Zoosadism	Inflicting pain on or seeing animals in pain[63]

This list, in my opinion, is pathetically small. This doesn't encompass a lot of what is really out there. 

In the next post, we'll start discussing abasiophilia, which we see above is the fetishization of people with impaired mobility, such as a wheelchair or crutches. It'll be interesting.

This bottom piece will also be on every post, because I do need to eat as well. You can support me if you like what I'm doing, and want to see more, (by more I mean bigger and more in-depth, as far as the blog goes), by visiting my patreon. It only takes a few dollars a month to keep me going strong, and there's plenty in it for you, with games using sexology, stories, and the occasional dirty picture. 

...Seriously, that list is awful...